They say that I am a strong, brave and an independent woman. Feels like, I can do anything and feel okay with everything, ’cause I can handle it. I can face all the difficulties that this life can throw on me and overcome it without any hassle. They thought of me like a woman wearing a full metal armor. BUT… they are wrong. 😦
I may be tough on the outside but inside of me is just also a girl, who fears a lot of thing, full of drama, and sometimes a crying baby. hehe
A girl will always be a girl, there are just times that I don’t want to show other people how I really feel, I don’t want to show the weak and soft side of me because I think there are people can use my weakness to take advantage of me. I can say that I don’t just let other people be really part of my world, to really know who really am I. You know the feeling that I really want to be brave but then inside of me is falling apart and then whenever I’m alone I end up crying to release whatever inside of me.
Sometimes controlling our emotions and let the world see who aren’t us is hard and in some way is wrong. Just like you’re living in a fake way. And sometimes it is better to show other people who you really are, they may judge you but at least you didn’t fool yourself about lies of your emotions.
To those people who told me that I am strong and such (I hope I’m that kind of woman hehe), sorry for being a liar in front of you, I’m just afraid of showing you who really am I. But I’ll try my best to be more of myself than living under a lie.